Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Baby Shower





Airplane Baby Shower


Under the tagline "Precious Cargo," this baby shower is all about vintage travel - including passport-like invitations, "baggage claim" favors, and vintage travel props.

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Camping Baby Shower


Mason jars, lanterns, and sandwich wraps cut to look like little logs. Who said baby showers had to be all about diaper pins and rubber duckies? See more photos and ideas from Jesi Haack Design.

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Baby "Shower" or "Sprinkle"


Clouds, raindrops, and umbrellas round out decor ideas for this baby shower theme. This is an especially cute idea for a second (or third or fourth) baby "sprinkle," which is traditionally smaller than a full-blown "shower.

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Back-to-School Baby Shower


This baby shower (thrown for a teacher) revolves around a schoolhouse theme - with blackboards, brown-bagged party favors, and plenty of apples. They had a "Show & Tell" (gift-opening time), "Story Time" (when the mom-to-be read stacks of parenting advice secretly collected from her students), and a nutritious lunch on cafeteria trays. Another cute idea for this theme is to have a basket of "love notes" written on loose-leaf paper for the new baby. 

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Baby Shower in a Box


If you have a long-distance mom-to-be friend, opt to "mail in" a baby shower and save your plane trip for when Baby actually arrives. The friend behind this thoughtful gift rallied a bunch of their college friends (via email) and coordinated classic baby shower activities and gifts into one box. They even gave the mom-to-be a special "party favor" gift from all of them. 

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Around-the-Clock Baby Shower


Time changes drastically once we become parents - we never seem to have enough of it, yet it passes much more quickly. And, in many ways, "time" and routines tend to rule our lives. So Pottery Barn Kids came up with some brilliant time-related décor and activities - including clever ideas for group gifts and a time capsule. 

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Book Baby Shower


A book (or "library" or "bedtime story") baby shower is a clever way to start building baby's library. Ask guests to kindly bring a new or used children's book in lieu of a card, and then enjoy a book-themed party - with books and a book-related menu. 

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Ready To Pop Baby Shower


This theme is easy to replicate yourself - just think of everything that "pops": popcorn, soda (pop), champagne, cake pops, popovers, pop rocks, balloons, bubbles, etc.

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Sip & See


Rather than have a baby shower, you could always have a "sip & see" party once Baby arrives - especially good for second-time moms or premature (pre-baby-shower) babies. This "Welcome to the World" party used maps and globes to decorate.

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Monday, April 23, 2012

Rape Charge Against Her Father

Casandra Kennedy Recants Rape Charge Against Her Father, Freed After 9 Years

Nearly 10 years after her accusation of rape sent her father to prison, Casandra Kennedy recanted. Now the prosecutor in the case is under fire for not indicting the daughter, writes Winston Ross.

Casandra Kennedy bumped into her grandmother, Wilma Cripe, at the Fred Meyer parking lot in Longview, Wash., a few months back. The two hadn’t seen each other in at least eight years. Not since Kennedy was 11 years old, when she accused her father, Cripe’s son, of rape. Not since Thomas Edward Kennedy went to prison for that crime, with a 15-year-sentence.

Sue Baur

Cowlitz County Prosecutor Sue Baur said she cannot charge Cassandra Kennedy with a crime because the statute of limitations has expired; also, she says, “I have no idea what to believe.”

This reunion was bound to be awkward.

“Grandma,” Cripe heard someone say, and her eyes focused on Kennedy, now 22. She barely recognized her granddaughter.

“We talked for a little bit,” Cripe later told the Longview Police. “She said she was ‘up on the mountain (Mountain Ministries, a faith-based addiction-treatment center in Kelso), clean and walking with the Lord.’ I could tell there was something she wanted to talk about.”

Cripe cut the conversation short, mindful of a no-contact order. But the two bumped into each other again not much later, in a different parking lot, at the Dollar Tree. This time, Casandra was more direct. She had prayed, she said, that she would again cross paths with her grandma.

“There is something I have to tell you,” Kennedy told Cripe. “Grandma, do you love me, will you forgive me?”

Cripe knew what was coming, she told police. Then the girl came right out and said it: “I lied and I don’t know what to do about it.”

What she did, after nine years of silence, was go to the Longview Police Department and recant, which set into motion a chain of events that led to her father’s release from prison earlier this month, after nearly 10 years behind bars. It also led to Cowlitz County Prosecuting Attorney Susan Baur fending off a barrage of foul emails and phone calls for not charging Casandra Kennedy with a crime.

“Kids recant, and then they’ll recant the recantation,” Baur said. “It was enough to get him a new trial, but Thomas Kennedy has not been found innocent.”

Baur remembers the case well, as her deputy was the one who handled it at the time. An 11-year-old girl told her school counselor in 2001 that her father was sexually abusing her, according to the brief Baur filed this year with the court. The counselor told Kennedy’s mother, and the police opened a child-abuse investigation, knowing that such charges are among the most difficult to prove.

Thomas Kennedy virulently maintained his innocence. But his daughter’s descriptions of the abuse itself were graphic and detailed, and it seemed unlikely to investigators that an 11-year-old would have been able to describe the abuse in this way without having experienced it. She wrote her diary that “my dad raped me and it really hurt.” She used stuffed animals and drawings to make her point. She came up with a code word―“peace”―for her teacher if the abuse happened again, and she called the teacher and used the word. She testified that she felt like screaming when it happened, but that she didn’t.

“Because you know how people say when this happens, scream?” she said on the witness stand. “Well, it’s not that easy to scream.”

There were some reasons to doubt the story. Tom Kennedy’s relatives testified that Casandra hated the relationship between him and his girlfriend, and that she was affectionate toward her father and seemed excited to see him when he showed up at a basketball game. The girlfriend, Tammy Bain, testified that during one visit, Casandra and her mother were “picking” on Tom. At one point, Casandra said, “We better be nice to him,” Bain testified. “Because he’s going to go away for a long time.” Bain asked what she meant by that, she said. Casandra said she was psychic.

But what was perhaps the most damning evidence in the case came with the report of a specialized nurse, who examined Casandra and found her hymen perforated, “consistent with genital contact with penetration.”

In July 2002, a jury found Thomas Kennedy guilty of three counts of rape, and he went away on a 15-year sentence. He was 32 years old.

Casandra Kennedy went on to have a troubled childhood. She dropped out of Kalama High School at age 16, got addicted to pills, then meth, worked at McDonald’s and Petco and got into trouble with the law, time and time again, according to police reports and affidavits from witnesses who knew her. At some point, she checked herself into Mountain Ministries, stayed for about a year and left. She’s back there now, according to the center’s director in an affidavit, and that’s where she decided it was time to change her story, after all these years.

Back in 2001, her dad wasn’t around a lot, she told police earlier this year. “I wanted him to love me and I didn’t think he did at the time.”

So she made up the rape story, she said. She’d heard about a friend whose stepdad went to prison for child molestation, and lifted some of the details from it, so she could sound like she knew what she was talking about. The perforated hymen? She’d had sex with a family friend back in the second grade, a boy about her age, she said.

“I took my own vengeance,” Casandra told police.

As soon as Baur got the phone call from police, she told The Daily Beast, she knew exactly what to do.

“Oh my god, let’s get this in front of a judge immediately,” she said. That resulted in a new trial, a judge overturning the verdict and Kennedy’s prompt release from jail.

But somehow the initial media reports (that went national) got a few key details wrong. Asked why she didn’t file any charges against Casandra Kennedy for lying to police and in court, Baur’s explanation offered in news reports was that she didn’t want to discourage other victims from coming forward.

In came the hate mail, the angry comments from website trolls. How dare this woman prosecutor lock an innocent man up for 10 years and then refuse to charge his lying accuser with a crime?

“Apparently, I hate men,” Baur said. “But I’m a duck, and like water, this stuff just rolls off my back.”

The news reports had it wrong, though (they’ve since run corrections to reflect this). Baur couldn’t have charged Kennedy with a crime even if she wanted to, because the statute of limitations had long expired. She also didn’t want to, because to this day, she says, “I have no idea what to believe.”

There were doubts about Casandra’s story in the beginning, and child abuse is indeed difficult to prove. But the physical evidence was there, and the girl’s modern-day story―that she had sex in second grade―doesn’t really track, Baur said. The nurse who examined Kennedy didn’t describe a 3-year-old scar. It was a recent trauma.

Still, the recantation required Baur to notify a judge and let the courts decide it credible or not. The legal standard isn’t proving that Casandra Kennedy lied. It’s whether these facts being revealed at trial would have likely changed the verdict, cast enough reasonable doubt to prevent a conviction. Clearly, a recantation would qualify as reasonable doubt.

“Kids recant, and then they’ll recant the recantation,” Baur said. “It was enough to get him a new trial, but Thomas Kennedy has not been found innocent.” His previous verdict was simply overturned.

The day after the verdict, back in 2002, Casandra Kennedy went for a walk on the beach with her mother. She confessed that she’d lied about the whole thing, she told her mom. But the next day, the girl changed her story again, mom said nothing, and dad went to prison for 10 years. Reached recently by a local newspaper, Tom Kennedy declined to comment, saying he just wanted to get on with his life.

When Wilma Cripe told her story to detectives, she said everything happens according to God’s will, that Thomas Kennedy is “a changed person,” and that he “would not be alive today if he stayed on the street.”

The last line of Casandra Kennedy’s written statement to the Longview police: “I’m sorry for all of the confusion I have caused.”

That’s putting it mildly.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/10/casandra-kennedy-recants-rape-charge-against-her-father-freed-after-9-years.html

Pinoy 'ejaculator' found guilty of sexual crime

Posted at 02/25/2011 11:38 AM | Updated as of 02/25/2011 11:44 AM

SANTA ANA, California – After about two-and-a-half hours of deliberation, a jury found Michael Kevin Lallana guilty of 2 counts battery and 2 counts committing a crime for sexual gratification.

Lallana sat emotionless, as the alleged victim, "Tiffany," sat in a corner of the courtroom, out of view. A bailiff handed her a box of tissue.

Lallana briskly walked out of the building as his attorney Ed Madrid told media that they planned on appealing the battery verdict.

Tiffany declined to comment, but did admit the verdict was a victory. She would not confirm if she was still working with her civil attorney, Gloria Allred.

Defense lawyers for Lallana said the defendant’s race--and not sex--may have been a possible motive for his bizarre actions.

A psychologist serving as an expert witness for the defense said that as a Filipino man, Lallana claimed that he was often disturbed by the thought that Asian women would choose Caucasian men over Filipinos. Lallana also claimed that his own mother preferred--she herself married--a Caucasian.

“If he’s doing this as retaliation for some great wrong done to him, for the reason of his race, why is she the only victim?” asked Zimmon during his rebuttal this morning, argued Brock Zimmon of the Orange County District Attorney’s office.

Lallana has confessed to masturbating in his office, including twice into his co-worker Tiffany’s water bottle.

He claims he did not intend for Tiffany to drink his semen. The two had no personal or working relationship.

Prosecutors closed their argument Thursday afternoon by saying his recorded confession, and the alleged sequence of events, show there was sexual motivation when he ejaculated into Tiffany’s water bottle.

“He knows she drinks from that bottle there was zero reason to put it back on her desk. It could’ve been thrown out. It could’ve been dumped. It could’ve been left somewhere else in the office. It could’ve been put back in the exact same place as she left it so nothing supposedly looked out of place. In reality, he was setting up a trap for her,” explained Zimmon.

In his final argument this morning, Lallana’s defense lawyer raised doubts as to whether the alleged victim even really drank the tainted water.

“Was her conduct consistent with someone that’s drank a foreign substance especially if they believe it’s semen? She then does take a civil attorney, then files a claim against her employer, not Mr. Lallana,” said Madrid.

Lallana’s sentencing is scheduled for April 22. Under these charges, he could spend up to one year in prison, and may have to register as a sex offender. At this time, Lallana remains out on bail.


http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/global-filipino/02/25/11/pinoy-ejaculator-found-guilty-sexual-crime

Monday, December 12, 2011

RB: Con man 'prince' writes of life of luxury

RELAXING: Abdelkarim Serhani, inset, and at a resort in Indonesia after fleeing Australia

A FRENCHMAN who posed as a member of a Saudi Arabian royal family and left Australia as a fugitive has written a tell-all book on how he scammed $42,000 from Hamilton Island.

Self-confessed impostor Abdelkarim Serhani, 28, writes in his yet-to-be released L'imposteur how he staked out the Whitsundays for two days before talking his way into free accommodation, meals, drinks - including $20,000 worth of champagne - and helicopter flights at Hamilton Island in May, 2009.

He says the risk of becoming a false Arab prince was "huge, even reckless" but admits he has no regrets and hopes his story does not encourage "copycats".

Mr Serhani spent 16 days on Hamilton Island living a life of luxury filled with booze, women and resort activities after he found a flyer advertising the Whitsundays' white sandy beaches, coconut trees and coral reef while he was at Hyde Park in Sydney, holed up in a backpacker hostel.

"Without hesitation I spend the rest of my savings to buy the plane ticket that will take me right to an extraordinary adventure," he writes in a French to English translation. "I took a water taxi from the port to which Airlie Beach leads on Hamilton Island, a paradise on Earth, the perfect island, which has a payment system that allows you to eat in restaurants, do all the activities of the island by paying at the end of your stay, and on top of that the hotel do not ask for ID, the dream.

"Good deception is 80 per cent preparation and 20 per cent performance."

His explanations seem to be something plucked out of a James Bond movie in which it took him two days to "study all the solutions" in case he was exposed, such as water taxi times to the locations of the heliport and police station as well as "places to hide".

When Mr Serhani's exploits were discovered by staff, police charged him with fraud and his passport was confiscated by local police but he skipped Proserpine court after claiming he had "broken legs" which he admits "bought him time" to make his way to Darwin and escape by yacht to Bali.

The Frenchman is notorious in his country for his infamous antics since 2007 and allegedly continued that lifestyle when he arrived in North Queensland.

He taunted Queensland police with his "catch me if you can" phrase and sent photos from various locations showing himself drinking champagne, partying, in sports cars, helicopters, on jet-skis and boats, relaxing at hotels and resorts and teaching students in a classroom.

In an interview via Skype with the Townsville Bulletin, he said he made up the fake Arab prince disguise because he was "tired of discrimination".

"In France and in Belgium, to get in to a party if you are Arabic and don't have money, you are not welcomed. So I played with that," he said.

The French version of the book will be released in Europe in December and the English translation may be up for grabs by February.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Would you ever Marry the man who raped you?

For Afghan Woman, Justice Runs Into Unforgiving Wall of Custom

KABUL, Afghanistan — When the Afghan government announced Thursday that it would pardon a woman who had been imprisoned for adultery after she reported that she had been raped, the decision seemed a clear victory for the many women here whose lives have been ground down by the Afghan justice system.

But when the announcement also made it clear that there was an expectation that the woman, Gulnaz, would agree to marry the man who raped her, the moment instead revealed the ways in which even efforts guided by the best intentions to redress violence against women here run up against the limits of change in a society where cultural practices are so powerful that few can resist them, not even the president.

The solution holds grave risks for Gulnaz, who uses one name, since the man could be so humiliated that he might kill his accuser, despite the risk of prosecution, or abuse her again.

The decision from the government of President Hamid Karzai is all the more poignant coming as Western forces prepare to leave Afghanistan, underscoring the unfinished business of advancing women’s rights here, and raising questions of what will happen in the future to other women like Gulnaz.

Indeed, what prompted the government to act at all was a grass-roots movement that began after Gulnaz was featured in a recent documentary film commissioned by the European Union, which then blocked the film’s release.

Supporters of the filmmakers charged that European officials were shying away from exposing the sort of abuses Afghan women routinely suffer for fear of offending their host government.

While Gulnaz’s pardon is a victory for both Clementine Malpas, a filmmaker who spent nearly six months on the documentary, and for Kimberley Motley, an American lawyer here who took Gulnaz’s case on a pro bono basis, it also shows that for women in the justice system, the odds are stacked against them.

The banned film, “In-Justice: The Story of Afghan Women in Jail,” which was seen by The New York Times, profiles three Afghan women who were in prison. One was Gulnaz, then about 19, who gave birth to the child of her rapist in prison, after initially being sentenced to three years. In a second trial, her sentence was increased to 12 years, but a judge on camera offered her a way out: marry her rapist.

A second woman in the film was abused by her husband and ran away with a man she fell in love with; both are now in prison for adultery. The third woman was a child of 14, who appeared to have been kidnapped but was held as a runaway and has since been returned to her family.

After the film was completed, the European Union banned its release, effectively silencing the women who were willing to tell their stories. The reason given for the ban was that the publicity could harm the women, because an Afghan woman who has had sex out of wedlock can easily become the victim of a so-called honor killing. The women had not given their written consent to be in the film, said Vygaudas Usackas, the European Union’s ambassador to Afghanistan.

But an e-mail obtained by The Times from someone supportive of the filmmakers suggested that the European Union also had political reasons for the ban.

The e-mail addressed to the filmmakers by the European Union attaché for justice, the rule of law and human rights, Zoe Leffler, said the European Union “also has to consider its relations with the justice institutions in connection with the other work that it is doing in the sector.”

Even if the women in the film “were to give their full consent,” the European Union would not be “ willing to take responsibility for the events that could ensue and that could threaten the lives of the documentary’s subjects,” the e-mail said.

Mr. Usackas said that concern for the women was central in the European Union’s decision. “Not only does the E.U. care about women, but we have spent over 45 million euros,” about $60 million, “in support of different programs for women,” he said, adding that the European Union also finances shelters for women.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

15 hottest (and famous) football fans

Guess what? Football is no longer a sport for beer-bellied, hairy, old men; these hot celebs are ardent fans too. Heres the lists down of 15 hottest and most popular football fans on the planet.
Let's play a game: when we ask you to picture a football fan, what's the first image that comes to your mind? If you pictured a sweaty, hairy man with a beer-belly in an oversized jersey, with a drink in hand while shouting at the television screen for every missed opportunity, we won't blame you. That's how a typical football fan would look like, honestly.

But relax, not all football fans are that scary-looking. Some of the world's most popular - and of course, hottest - celebrities are avid fans of the beautiful game too.

With Paraguay's most famous fan Larissa Riquelme in mind, I list down 15 of the hottest and most popular football fans in the world. They sure put beautiful in the 'beautiful game'.

RACHEL STEVENS
She's a fan of:
Arsenal
Seriously, there's no hotter Arsenal fan than former S Club 7 hottie Rachel Stevens, who also happens to be one of Britain's most desirable women.
CAROLINE WOZNIACKI
She's a fan of:
Liverpool
The women's world number one tennis player Caroline Wozniacki is a huge, huge Liverpool fan. And her favourite Liverpool player? Who else but captain amazing Steven Gerrard.

CAT DEELEY
She's a fan of:
West Bromwich Albion
Who knew 'So You Think You Can Dance' hottie Cat Deeley is a football fan? The 34-year-old is a fan of Premier League side West Brom, despite her mom, dad and brothers being huge Wolverhampton fans. She's quite a rebel, we see.

SHANIA TWAIN
She's a fan of:
Newcastle United
Shania Twain is a songstress all the way from Canada, and she loves English Premier League side Newcastle United. Talk about long distance relationships.

NADINE COYLE
She's a fan of:
Celtic
The pretty Nadine Coyle, one fourth of all-girl band Girls Aloud, is a world traveller: born in Ireland, joined an English band and a die-hard supporter of Scottish side Celtic.

KATE WINSLET
She's a fan of:
Reading
Yup, the award-winning, 'Titanic' star Kate Winslet is actually quite an avid Reading fan, considering that she was born in Reading. Ironically, they sank like the Titanic back to the Championship after only a season in the Premier League.

LAURA ESPOSTO
She's a fan of:
AC Milan
The super sexy Laura Esposto is an Italian model and TV personality, and she's a die-hard AC Milan fan. She's such a big fan; she's been presenting Rossoneri's home matches since 2005.



CHERYL COLE
She's a fan of:
Newcastle United
You might think that because her on-off-and-on again husband Ashley Cole plays for Chelsea, Cheryl Cole is a keen supporter of the London club, but no: the Girls Aloud front woman supports Newcastle United. Wonder if the Coles trash talk at home.


CAMERON DIAZ
She's a fan of:
Brentford
We know she surfs, and is quite a sports fan, but Hollywood A-Lister Cameron Diaz actually follows English second division club Brentford FC because she's a fan of Dan Tara, former chairman of the club who now owns her favourite restaurant in Los Angeles.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
She's a fan of:
West Ham United
English beauty Keira Knightley is actually quite the diehard fan of West Ham United. In fact, when the Hammers were promoted to the Premier League in 2005, the 26-year-old actress, who was based in LA then, would catch the team in action from a local pub in Santa Monica - at 6am! Talk about dedication.
ADRIANA LIMA
She's a fan of:
Inter Milan
She might have married a pro basketball player, but Victoria's Secret Angel Adriana Lima is also a big fan of Italian giants Inter Milan. It's not every day you see a football-loving Angel.
LARISSA RIQUELME
She's a fan of:
Paraguay national team
Lingerie model Larissa Riquelme, if you do not know this by now, is the world's most famous football fan, no thanks to her infamous nude exploits after the 2010 World Cup. She's known as 'The World Cup's Girlfriend' for a reason.
SHAKIRA
She's a fan of:
Barcelona or Real Madrid, we have no idea
Yup, hips don't lie: Colombian pop star Shakira is a crazy football fan. Although her boyfriend, World Cup hero Gerard Pique, plays for Spanish giants Barcelona, she lists Barca's arch rivals Real Madrid as her favourite football club. That's a conflict of interest right there.
CATHERINE ZETA-JONES
She's a fan of:
Swansea City
One of the most beautiful women in the world, Catherine Zeta-Jones, could arguably be Swansea City's most beautiful supporter ever. She was raised in Swansea, Wales, so we're pretty sure that's the reason why she supports the team in the first place.
EVA LONGORIA
She's a fan of:
Chivas USA
The petite but oh-so-hot Eva Longoria is a fan of Major League Soccer side Chivas USA, although we suspect she also likes LA Galaxy because her bestie David Beckham plays for them.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Reblog: Moving on

Dear Joe,

I'm an avid fan of your radio program, especially on Fridays because of your Lovenotes. I have always been amazed by your advice and always wondered where you get your soulful thoughts.

Joe, just call me Mica. I had a boyfriend for five years and seven months. His name was Anton and we were deeply in love. At least I'd like to believe that he was in love with me, too. We had dreams of getting married in the year 2000 and we agreed to name our first baby girl with both our mothers' names.

For five years, my life focused on Anton. He was my world and my life, and he always came first. My friends, family, career and even myself came after. My heart and mind were already set on having him as my husband--my lifetime partner. Nothing and no one could change that. His family and friends knew about us and accepted me. They were all kind to me and treated me well. I remember his brothers and sisters introducing me to their friends as "our future sister-in-law". Everyone thought it would be Anton and me in the end.

Third quarter of this year, we began having frequent fights over small things like where to eat, what movie to watch and whether he would see me or not. He'd tell me he was under a lot of pressure from both his work and his relationship with me so I proposed we "cool off" for awhile. I told him that in the meantime, I wouldn't call him or see him as often as I wanted to, but I'd always be around if ever he needed me.

Without a second thought, he accepted my proposal and told me to just end the relationship. Joe, it was as if he had just waited for me to initiate the breakup.

I was shocked and surprised. The man I love and gave my life to was letting me go. Though it hurt, I accepted the idea because I thought he was just tired from work and confused. I thought that after a few days, we'd both realize that we really need and love each other.

When we parted ways, I couldn't help but cry. The following day I called him and asked if we could still talk about it. I asked him the real reason and he told me that he was tired of my demands. He was tired of being committed and just wanted to be alone for awhile. I told him I'd change but Anton remained firm in his decision.

Twenty days after our breakup, we agreed to meet in our old meeting place for dinner. However, he didn't show up despite my numerous pages reminding him that I was waiting. When the mall closed, I decided to go home and on my way, I saw him with another woman. What made it even painful was that he just ignored me, as if he didn't see me. For two days, I was absent from work, I didn't know what to do. I was so confused. I didn't know what was happening, why he was with that girl when he was supposed to meet me--that same girl my friends saw him with minutes before our breakup.

I went to his place so we could talk and ask for some enlightenment. I told him how hurt I was but he said that the girl is just a friend and that he just didn't know what to do that night, so he ignored me. He promised that he would not have a girlfriend this year or next because he really wanted to be alone and moreover, he still loves me. I believed him, Joe, as I had for more than five years.

My friends told me they didn't believe what Anton had told me and that he was just trying to ease my pain and lessen his guilty feelings. I was so confused. Who was telling the truth? Who should I believe?

On September 17, my friends and I watched CONSPIRACY THEORY and while scouting for a better seat, I accidentally saw him and that girl again. Knowing that they were just friends, I made sure that Anton would see me but he just ignored me again. Joe, if she's just a friend, why can't he introduce me to her? Why does he have to ignore me? And so I began to believe my friends.

I finally broke the news to his elder sister. Thank God his sister and I were so close I could discuss matters of the heart with her. She was really surprised and saddened by the news. She told me to talk to Anton to clarify everything and so I did. I got my answer the following day.

The girl my friends and I have been seeing with Anton is, in fact, his girlfriend. For a while, I was speechless, as if someone had slapped my face. I could no longer cry. But I could clearly feel the pain running through my smallest veins.

I thought he wanted to be alone, that he didn't want to commit but we've only been off for two months, and already he's found someone new? Am I that easy to forget? Did our five years of love mean nothing to him? Why did he have to tell me he loves and needs me only to turn around and show the opposite of what he says. What have I done to deserve this? I just can't believe he can hurt me this much, Joe.

It's supposed to be our five-year-and-nine-month anniversary. I just celebrated my 26th birthday and Anton and Marie (that's the new girl's name) celebrated their first month of anniversary a day after my birthday.

Although my friends are always beside me to comfort and cheer me up, I'd still think of Anton and his girl. They are always in my dreams and it's like a constant nightmare. When I want to enjoy a movie, I would remember seeing them together. If I stay at home, it kills me to see my computer because Anton is a real computer wizard.

How can I go on, Joe? Will I ever be happy again? Is there really such a thing as a reckoning? Are there more ways to forget everything about him, especially the pain?

Joe, I'm already wishing for my early death. I'm trying to speed it by skipping meals and not eating on time. I know this will hurt my family and friends but I'm really tired of pretending I'm happy and brave when in fact, I'm not. Behind my laughter is a lonely heart, inside me is a crying soul.

Help me, Joe. Everyday I go to sleep and wake up with a heavy heart. Sometimes I wish I'll never wake up again. Then perhaps the hurt will go away and I'll be able to find peace again.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my letter. Good luck and more power to your show.

Sincerely
Mica


Dear Mica,

Getting over someone who has hurt us and betrayed our trust is not an easy thing to do. Being taken for granted and exchanged for someone else could be very disappointing. Our lives become miserable as we try to make believe that everything is fine just to keep our self-esteem.

Mica, it's always easy for a man to say "I love you". Sometimes men would lie just to save their faces and get away with their wrongdoings. They would make you believe that they care for you even if they have someone else at the back of their minds.

Anton lied about his feelings because, deep inside him, he knew he was not in love with you anymore. He thought that not knowing would spare you the pain but he didn't know that you have been hurting all along.

I know you love him and you still have so many questions unanswered. But ignoring you twice when he was with this girl should have given you more than enough answers and reason to let go.

Stop asking why, Mica. It's plain and simple. He doesn't love you anymore and you just have to learn to live with that. You don't have to make believe and pretend you are happy when you're not. You should cry and lament over his loss. But don't let your tears run dry. Don't starve yourself to death for someone who never respected your feelings. Someone who was never really worthy of your love.

Mica, after giving yourself some time to cry and shout it all, get back to life and move on. I know it's difficult to let go of a love that you have kept for the past five years. Learn to accept that it's all over. Little by little you'll find the peace you're looking for and you'll give yourself the chance to love again then you'll find real happiness in the arms of a man who will love you more than anyone else has.

Love,
Joe